There can be giving without loving though there can’t be love without giving

Thousands of people in relationships and those who are threatening to enter some have consistently asked how to prove that someone really loves you. In trying to answer this question, thousands of authors, philosophers and great thinkers have come to simplify it that love can be read in actions, gestures, language and words. For all these years, there has been no any other way of proving that someone really loves you apart from reading their moves and actions.
The mistake at first was to trust love words, but as betrayals increased and more hearts got broken, people decided never to believe in words only but in words accompanied with actions. While this method of combining words and corresponding actions helped much to tell a person who has love for someone, it still has its limits since many betrayals and breaking hearts are still here. So what is the problem?
The problem is that people are able to give, act well and speak better and lovely words yet without loving. Listen, the acting I am talking about here is not the one in cinema and movies; it is real acting with emotions, patience and persistence which can easily mimic love. Of course these fake manners fade away with time since they aren’t based on love but who of you is ready to stand strong enough and prove it out when all we care about is trusting our senses (what we see, hear, feel, touch or smell) than our faith or conscience? Basing on the frustrations we are getting from our former two means of approving love, I have wanted us to take a step further and look at the value of faith in love. The only way we can know that someone truly loves us is through faith. But I am sure you are aware of the common gospel that faith without actions is useless. So should we look at actions to prove the faith? No, of course we must justify love by faith only and good love actions are just unavoidable results of love.

There are so many of us who want to trust actions even more than our conscience yet we all know that our senses which help us to read actions can be misled and thus mislead us. Sometimes, your eyes, your head, your skin and the nose could be sniffing some actions as totally good and sweet and right representatives of love yet the actual truth of what your heart is reading is just hatred and pending destruction. But since most of us have learnt to trust our eyes, head, skin, the nose and ears, then we ignore the humble, non-loud voice of the conscience. What happens next? We are crushed when we finally learn that all that happened, no matter how glittering it appeared, was pushing us to our own grave.

The evil one, the bad people have learnt to exercise all the fruits of faith without having faith itself and thus we fall victim of their tricks. People are rich enough to spare a lot for you, they can persist and stay with you in hard times, can be to say the right words to you, can really stand with you in the thick and thin and yet they never loved you and will never do. Your heart knocks, “This guy doesn’t love you though he is always there for you” but you angrily oppose, “Shit, how can he be all he is if it wasn’t love?” and as a sheep going for slaughter we keep treading on such paths till our own proof-death. So what am I saying today?

You are not safe if you are that type of lady or man who wants to measure love by actions and words, by how much one is sacrificing for you, or how long he has stood with you while in hard times. But you may wonder, “If someone is doing everything for me and stands with me in hard times, what else I need?”. I am sure such questions are just lies to us since our hearts always know what they really want-Happiness. There are so many of you who are living with spouses yet you deeply know that they never loved you. There are so many of us who are just celebrating and having good times during the day and when we are with our lovers but quickly fall into tears whenever we are alone and our hearts remind us that we are not loved.

Don’t pretend you do not understand what I am saying. Some of us get married out of commitment only but not emotions and others just do the vice versa. There are many who get married to please their parents and families. Others get married to fall suit, to please church leaders and society but not to satisfy their heart’s desire of being loved. Some of us have been trapped by the so many gifts and helping hand we received from our partners and though we never fell in love, we couldn’t betray such good actions just to please our hearts or conscience. Do you still not understand what I am saying?

Love can never and will never be justified by words, our actions or our sacrifices but by faith and faith alone. And if you lack faith, I am sorry to say that you will never know that true love exists and of course you will never enjoy it. We have to start trusting our hearts than our heads. Even when the actions of your sweetheart hurt you last night, don’t you know deep within you that she really loves you even more than those who serve you in the office? I have actually remembered my sweetheart’s friend has been hurt a lot by her boyfriend but she has still stayed. And as we chatted about her, my lady told me that she still stays because she is in love. At first, I was mad at how crazy this was but now I understand that people would probably do anything to have what brings happiness to their hearts. This friend of my lady displays that. And the good news is that things are getting better day and night. It is, however, not love when we get exploited and I am sure the explanation here fits well my article about action-reward philosophy, read it.

Finally, it is not those actions and nice words and being there that defines love, it is only faith (the only definition from the chambers of your heart or conscience). Just as faith without actions is useless, love without actions is useless too but in either case love and faith come first. Do not trust so much in what you see, hear, touch or even think but in your belief and your heart. Yeah, those actions and beautiful words are good but they don’t define everything. And by the way, remember that nothing can be done for you if there wasn’t a reward attached to it. For those who like reading love through gifts, sacrifices and how much someone has been for you, decide your way now.
The Complete You Project


My photo

Born from Uganda, Nemeyimana Vicent (Nemvicx) has become what people call, "coming from nothing to something". Professionally, he is both a nurse and public health officer and currently works with Mulago National Referral Hospital. In 2016, he wedded his wife and great sweetheart, Amulen Winfred (also a professional Midwife and counsellor). Besides their professions, Nemvicx is an inspirational writer, singer, motivational speaker, author of several digital books. He a theologian and blogger at (The Complete You Ministry).

Contact them at