Coming to terms with yourself, the peace that you are seeking is there.

Seated outside here, feeling the coldness of this passing air and how, well, this night can't explain where I am exactly, I wonder what the hell takes away this peace sometimes. You see, no great cash flow this month, most business at stand still, my new investments not yet paying out, and all that I am getting are debts and support yet all that surrounds me is peace and sort of calmness. Really, there is so much meaning, mmmmmh, ah I am saying life is a lot more than just money, houses, friends, and even religion, it is you, the complete you.
So I took my minds, no I mean my simple thoughts and fathomed how possibly my mother needs me, how my needy patients should have received my dressing even when I had gone to school, how my brothers and sisters should find paradise due to my cause. And as you all know how weak my muscles are, I mean how my abilities are too slow to make such illusions come true, I Almost lost myself, lost with the guilt that I cannot make the world have it all. So here in this cold humid air, on the veranda that I did not construct, oh no, that I did not even see being constructed, I have to agree with myself, life is not about finding yourself, it is about building yourself and once you are that strong, I mean once you have developed that confidence in yourself, then you can be an answer to somebody else.
So what? I am seeing what takes away our peace! Our unfulfilled dreams, oh no, I am saying our unfulfilled illusions. Dreams are fulfilled. We simply have to be free and slow with ourselves, do the little we can and enjoy it along the way. I remember why mother has lived this long, she said that she is not responsible for whatever goes wrong, God is. And I agree. To say that God is responsible for everything is not judging him, it is simply recognizing his omnipotence and eh, remember, he is responsible for everything and everything he does is good.
So this evening I am happy and calm not because I have got everything, I certainly will never get everything, but because I am happy and grateful to God for what I am and have. God bless you and provide you with the same kind of satisfaction.

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