Blame nobody, not even yourself
You have often been told that you are totally responsible for your life's achievements and failures, but I am here to tell you that life is more than just you and me and few factors. Sometimes things shall happen out of blue and all you have to do is to accept that and move on. Of course, you are responsible for your life for you will determine your fall and rise, but blaming yourself or any other person shall never help you.
I am a health worker and have seen what guilty and blame can do to our bodies and even souls. For God's sake, you also want good life and happiness for yourself and thus whatever evil that happened, you did not cause it (to be clear, you did not intend it). You wanted good and success but the opposite happened, it is okay, forgive yourself and anybody who got involved and move on.
Standing in the shadows of guilty, blame and self pity will not improve you at all. You will not do better by pointing fingers at yourself or anybody else, but the determination to move on and start over again.
Do you know why you should not blame yourself? It is not because you were not involved in what happened, it is because you wanted the best. All people want the best; success, happiness, and long life with good health, including those who do evil things. So you see the problem; it is not how you did it or actually what you did, it is about your intentions.
You are a good person though you do not know how to bring that out. You have been trying to please others or yourself though the hard way. God stopped blaming you long time ago, and I too did. You just need to take up His hand and let Him show you how to be good. You did not commit a crime in your intentions, you did it in your working. And surely, you cannot be blamed for that, none of us has ever perfected the methods.
So brother and sister, stand up for yourself again. Stop beating yourself over things you did, all you wanted was happiness. Wake up, forgive yourself and others. Embrace the hand of grace that is being extended to you and let Him teach you how to be good. It is all you ever wanted, but you did not know how to make it.
Yes, I believe you can.
The Complete You Ministry,