Forgiveness does not excuse the wrong, it confirms it.
Forgiving someone is not about justifying their wrong actions, and that is why actually it helps more the one giving the forgiveness than the one receiving it. Forgiveness is about us giving away our right to be angry at the person who wronged us. It is about us deciding to leave the past that cannot be changed and move on into the future with a new heart. That is why we need to forgive others whether they ask for forgiveness or not.
When on the cross, Jesus forgave those who killed Him. He said, "Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing". For God's sake, that does not make them right or saved unless they themselves feel sorry for what they did and receive the forgiveness. This is an encouragement to us when we forgive those who wrong us, especially those who still do and are never ready to stop.
When we forgive those who hurt us, we are simply blessing ourselves and surrendering the duty of condemning to God, the true judge. Of course when the people we forgive also seriously consider receiving our forgiveness, it means they are making a commitment not to hurt us again. That is also good.
Sometimes we may need to put guards against some people so they do not hurt us again, and this does not affect forgiveness. What is important is that we have decided consciously to forget the past and move on into the future with an open heart full of no grudges but love, mercy, forgiveness and grace.
That is all.
So we do not have to first find excuses, reasons, and justifications for our friend's wrong acts before we can forgive him, we just have to do it whether they receive it or not and move on because it is about us and not necessarily about them. That is what forgiveness is all about. It is not even about forgetting, being careless with your guards or precautions against people who may hurt you, or even forgetting to discern bad people from good ones, it is simply about changing your perception, feelings, and enabling the gesture of love, grace, forgiveness, and mercy flow through you to all other people just like Christ did for you and me.
Remember, the power to forgive others is deeply rooted in the forgiveness we received from Christ. And surely the forgiveness we received we deserved not, the same reason we need to extend such grace to those who really don't deserve it.
God bless you
The Complete You Ministry