Love & relationships: 5 secrets of winning the heart of any woman that you have fallen for. Explore them now.


There is that woman, that lady you flashed your eyes on and, oh my God, she caught your eyes. From that time up to now, all you ever dream about is having her, making her yours. Of course, finding the right woman for you is your first step (we are preparing a great arricle about how to find the right woman for you), but then winning her heart is your next and important step towards your relationship achievements. Is this the best way to introduce this? How about this other way below?;

Have you ever met a lady and you wonder how such a woman could ever be yours? Yes, you have, and don't deny it. And by they way, if you have never had such a feeling and you are 18 and above, then you need to worry! The fact is a woman also may meet a gentleman and wonder how such a man could ever be hers, that is true too. However, our focus today is how a man can win over the heart of a lady he has fallen for. Listen, this article is not intended for these one night stand relationships, we are talking about winning the heart of a woman,  a true home woman for great relationship and possible marriage. 

So how do you win the heart of the woman you have fallen for?

People shall tell you thousands of ways to make this come true, but it will only confuse you. Winning a woman's heart is easy and does not need you to visit all relationship councillors or even read all books about relationships. Just look at these 5 most effective secrets of winning a woman's heart.

1. Be confident and have self-esteem.

Do you know how many men have ever lost the women they had fallen for only because they were not confident enough to make the approach? Do you know that sometimes that same woman (irrespective of her position, job, and family background) has fallen for you and she is just waiting for you to approach her and say something? For God's sake, this is the most important secret in any man's life towards the success of winning a woman's heart.

I have confessed many times how I captured Winnie's heart yet we were totally different in everything except our hearts. Yes, read some glimpses about this in Our personal Valentine's Day message of 2017 to you. After identifying the woman you want, it is about your confidence to approach her.

There is no such a woman who is too much for you, it is about how you rate yourself. It can be a daughter of your boss, the pastor's daughter, the woman MP (Member of Parliament) of your area, or even the daughter of the great family in your neighborhood, and she can be yours if you really believe so. I have talked to women, great and small, and all of them share the same desires and needs in terms of love and relationships; they need care, passion, help and protection, freedom, value, and intimacy.

Yes, all women love those things and it does not need you to first be a king in order to meet the above.

It is, however, very important to always respect the position of the woman you want. What do I mean? If she is the Bishop's daughter, then recognize and respect that in all your dealings. If she is the minister's daughter, then recognize that when you meet. Yes, it does not reduce your respect and position as a man to recognize the power and position of the woman you are falling for, it instead confirms your confidence in the sense that you have recognized the position and strength of that woman and yet still have gone for her. Period. Is that hard to get? Read here how being humble and recognizing the positions of others makes us great rather than weak.

By the way, what does it mean to be confident? What is self esteem? And how can one build his confidence and self esteem?

The Oxford dictionary defines the word confident as feeling sure about your own ability to do things and be successful. I have ever highlighted in one of our articles that a woman does not love you because of necessarily who you are at the moment, but because of the potentials and possibilities of what she sees that you shall be in life.

Yes, even though I completely had nothing when my wife chose me, she believed so much in what I was becoming. Yes, and I have never disappointed her. So you need to have that faith in yourself. You need to believe that you too can be anything you wanna be. And the more this woman perceives that confidence and great belief in a better future in you, the more she will automatically fall for you.

The same Oxford dictionary defines self esteem as a feeling of being happy with your character and abilities. Yes, celebrate your abilities and let her know what you really can do, not in a boastful way, but constructive one. Yeah, I was a good speaker and motivator and I would do this well. I was a gospel singer and would do it well. I was good at my work and even at making fun. All that I was, I did and made sure she knew about it.

You just need to be tactical only to avoid being boastful and proud, but instead some kind of gratefulness to life and the 'little' that you can be. A woman, no matter her position, shall be happy to hear of your 'what you call little' abilities and characters. Do you know why you should believe in yourself by the way? Because you also can be. Read this also.

Now, the writers at the guy counselling website have explored this topic of self esteem and confidence and put up about 10 tips that will shoot high your confidence and self esteem as a man . Read the article if you are interested.

Take home: Being confident in yourself and having that self esteem about your characters and abilities is your first and foremost step towards your success of winning that woman's heart. Every woman, no matter her position, longs for such a man. And remember, it does not need you to be a king first before you can build your confidence and self esteem. Let us look at your secret number 2.

2. Surprise your woman of interest.

To surprise is simply to be out of blue from nowhere and doing, saying or offering something unexpectedly. All women love surprises. Yes, surprise her with a love letter (oh no, not so romantic, just say how she means a lot to you. I mean, value her friendship). Some writers like Mark Maish emphasize declaring your intentions earlier on during your relationship building (you can read his 7 secrets to winning a lady's heart here), but I do not agree with this principle.

From experience, I believe the best way to win over a woman's heart is to start on her in the name of friendship, I mean serious and meaningful friendship. It is during this period that your surprises really make a meaning to her. Also, from the point of having strong relationships and marriage, starting as friends gives you both the chance of knowing each other.

After you have made the approach and opened up the connection, it is time to surprise her with gifts, flowers, love or friendship letters, words, and attributes she never thought of herself. Imagine you are chatting as usual and then you throw in a comment like this; "by the way, do you know that you look lovely and you are a great woman to be with?"

Make her feel special to you in unexpected way. Invite her for your special event like birthday, make a mix CD or music selection and take to her, buy her a rose flower, offer her a gift like a bag, shoes or anything. Sing for her when you are seated together and remember to surprise her with a pet name. Mandy Velez wrote an article explaining about 21 romantic ways of surprising the woman you have fallen for and make her fall for you too. Read this article too .

About pet name, many ladies like to have their men call them a special kind of name that is not common with any other person. You can call her sunshine, sugar, honey, sweetheart, sexy, or strawberry. Whatever you call her should reflect so much her passions, physical characters, likes and dislikes and personality in general.

Finding a pet name to surprise the woman of your interest is quiet easy. All you have to do is to know her, what she likes and dislikes, her abilities and good virtues and build them up into one word that describes her. When she asks you about the meaning of what you call her, you should be able to describe her and convincingly make her see herself in that name. 

Do you want to find out how to find a great pet name for the woman you are falling for? Do you wanna have a list of so many names, their meanings and then select one that fits your dear lady? Do you know the mistakes to avoid while selecting a pet name for your woman? Then read this article too; 400+ Nick names for girls and how to choose the best one for the woman you have fallen for.

Surprises do not get finished, you just have to be creative. I have forever surprised Winnie with small letters of compliments and love expression, gifts, and outings in unexpected places.

Most men make the mistake of being too extravagant and expensive especially with gifts, offers and outings. True women are not carried by the expensivesness of gifts and offers, but by the way they are offered. In the book, apples of gold, Joe Petty says something of this; 'the greatest gifts are those tied up with heart strings'. In other words, your woman should see your love, affection, passion and dedication in every surprise no matter how small or less expensive it may seem to be.

Take home: Women love surprises and that woman that you have fallen for loves surprises too, surprise ber. Let her know you care about her and she is special to you, but in a way she never expected. And as I said earlier, starting it out as friends gives you the chance and base for these surprises that later tell her she means something much more to you than just a friend. Let us see secret number 3.

3. Claim her and take care of her.

Every woman, no matter her position, wants to belong somewhere, I mean to a man. When you love a woman, claim her and let her know that you do. This is the basis for your offer of protection and the care she longs for. Women want to hear a man say, 'you are mine and I won't let you go'. Yes, as one writer puts it, "When you claim your woman, it’s not a process of acquiring her into belonging to you, but an offering of guidance and protection, which you are devoting yourself to. You are offering your courageous heart and profound love and inviting her to open boundlessly while you holding a safe container for her". In other words, you are giving her more freedom and pleasure of life than she would have without belonging to you, to anyone.

She can be better than you in everything including money, physical strength, positions, family, and job, but she needs your care and protection more than anything. A woman shall fall for a man who defends her ideas, her style, and her life. Care for health, dressing, her work and success even though you may need her resources to actually show the care and protection. For example, borrow 50,000 shillings from her only to come with a new dress for her.

There are thousands of ways to show your care and protection to the woman you love, just be creative and self. Be a man. Support her in her work by providing some ideas, doing some assignments for her, being there when she is working, and also providing resources where you can. If you are at workplace together, help her to finish her assignments. If you are at school, read with her, show her new information that is helpful, help her do well her assignments and always respect her views and build on them. Make her sense that you are a man and she is a woman.

Claiming a woman and taking care of her is an important secret towards your goal of winning her heart. Ask her if she has eaten or slept well. Ask her if she has any problem with work or boss or the neighbor. Ask her if she is alright or there is a way she thinks you can help.

Most men do a mistake when they love a woman and want to do everything for her. That is dangerous and won`t do you any good. Don`t be around a lot or say more or do more and more unless the girl shows interest in what you did at first. Though some women may delay to show you that they are grateful, it is still not healthy to pump them with too much care than is needed. Let her have time for herself and try her ideas, options and ways before you can impose your solutions on her. Make her ask for your view, protection, help or care in a very skillful way rather than just offering help even when she did not need it.

At puckermob, about 10 ways to show a woman that you really care are shared and they are good, but I also love the WikiHow's 5 ways of showing the woman you love that you really care. Read those articles if you are interested to know how to show care.

Take home: That woman that you have fallen for needs to know that she belongs to you. She needs to know that she is not like any other girl and that someone is specifically reliable and responsible for her, and that person is you. You have to make her know she is yours and you are gonna do anything to keep it that way. Take time and care for her by listening to her views, helping her out with work or any other duty, defending her ideas and thoughts and being lovely and passionate about her likes and life. When you do this, she has no option but to fall for you. Let us look at your secret number 4.

4. Become a winner and successful.

For God's sake, no woman can admire a failing man. All women long for great men and she longs for that kind of man too. She has to see a successful man in you,  a man of your word and duty. This has less, if not nothing, to do with your financial successes or other crazy attributes like fame, power, or influence as so many men think, it has everything to do with your everyday successes and how you handle work. In other words, be good, effective and committed at whatever work you do, she will fall for you.

This is easy. If you are at school, be well and organized in class and try to perform well. If you are at work place, do your duties well and in a knowledgeable manner. If it is at the church you meet her, make sure you behave well, sing well, present your sermon well and be the better one if not the best. Every woman will likely fall for a man who is making progress in what he does.

Every woman likes a progressive man. The only trick here is making sure that she does not realize that you are being the best just to please her, and by the way, it should not be that way. This should be your life. You should be a man who gives the best to his duties and businesses. In that case, even a failure or set back is not used up by the woman against you but she is up to support you and make you stand up again for she knows you always do your best. 

There is a great reason why women like progressing and successful men, it is what men should be. And like I said before, progress and success is not about money or business but about any goal that a man sets. A woman wants to have a man who does not quit, one who pursues his goals and ambitions even in face of adversaries and opposition.

I remember when we were having our counseling at the church, the pastor told me, "Vicent, women love the lion in a man.  Do not quit on anything easily. Be fierce and manly. Fight for your dreams and approach everyone for your belief and what you stand for, including her. Yes, make her succumb to the lion in you, not in the sense of making her your slave, but convincing her that you are the guy". I hope you have got the point.

Now, you may need to explore something more in relation to successful men and their status with women, here is a small article at quora that explains why women like to fall for successful men. Check it out for more on this.

Take home: Every woman (no matter her status) likes a man who is progressing. For God's sake, no woman can wish to be associated with a lazy man or one who does not give value and credit to work. That woman that you have fallen for wants to see you upgrade in everything, including the phone you use, the clothes you put on, the jelly that you smear, and the places you take her to. As long as she sees you getting better at everything everyday, she will not change her mind. She is yours forever. Poison her with your success and progress at everything that you do. Let us go for the last secret. 

5. Make her a friend, a true one friend. 

We have talked about this shortly in our first secret, but it is time we expanded the point for it is very important if you are to win the heart of any woman that you admire. Women, every woman loves the feeling of being more than just a lover for sex, romance, and all these love things, they also love being friends. I do not know how many times Winnie acted as my mother, counsellor, teacher, and even inspirer, she has been my friend besides love and romance.

For God's sake, that woman shall feel great if you ask for advise from her and work on it and bring a report to her of how it worked. Tell her of your weaknesses and failures. Share with her some secrets about your family and life. There is nothing that makes a woman special like sharing your dark secrets with her. Be there for her if she is stressed, inspire and motivate her. Let her see something more in you than just a man full of love and romance. Let her know your perception and perspective of life. The more positive and inspiring you are, the more this woman (no matter her status) shall fall for you.

Encourage her to even do greater things and make her know that you believe in her, not as her man, but as a genuine friend. She will definitely fall for you. In Mark Maish's words, "When other people tell her it’s impossible, hold her hand, reassure her of your unwavering support and trust in her abilities. When she is discouraged and depressed ignite the verve in her. To become her main source of inspiration you must also be optimistic and motivated to achieve your dreams. Seek her advice before making major life decisions, listen to her and take her opinion serious. This will make her feel valued and that she has a role to play in your life"

About telling her about yourself and secrets, still let us borrow Maish's words, "The most effective way of encouraging a lady to open up with you about her life is by sharing little intimate details about your own life with her. This will make her feel trusted and special. Share with her about your ambitions albeit careful not to seem too proud, innermost fears, childhood memories and your weaknesses like how you sometimes cry when watching a movie with a touching storyline. Remember to also tell her about your most embarrassing moments while infusing humor. Being able to laugh at your own embarrassing moments exudes confidence.

Avoid bragging about what your family members have achieved or the flashy cars and palatial homes you own. This may impress a few opportunistic girls but a lady who makes her own money will not fall for such. She is interested in knowing who you really are as a person not your net worth"

At the focus on the family website, Alyson Weasley shared about 12 steps to a deeper friendship with your lover or spouse, you can read them now. Also, Michael Hyatt has a great article explaining How to become your spouse's best friend. Please, you can read those two articles and experience the power of being friends with the woman you love. She will fall for you like you never imagined.

Take home: It is a great thing to be lovely and romantic, but a woman shall feel even more especial if she is more than just a lover for sex, love and romance, but also a friend for advice, counseling, inspiration and motivation. Make her your friend by encouraging her to be even more than she is and being there when she needs encouragement from a genuine friend and not just a lover. 

General summary:

When you have fallen for a woman, chances are that she has fallen for you too, but she is waiting for you to make the approach and trigger her into the game. Even though she may not be aware of you or your existence, never should you fear to make a move on a woman that has stolen your heart and desires. There is a lot you can do to make her fall for you as well, but all these can be summarised up in four words; "BE A GOOD MAN".

Let no one confuse you on this, every woman, no matter her status, manners or likes, wants a good man. People shall confuse you that some women want rough, disorganized, indiscipline and careless men, but that is a pure lie. Whether she cheats on others, goes to club and dances with thousands of men, is disorganized or even is very lazy and values no work, she will want the opposite of all those bad manners in a man. 

Whatever type she is (I am wondering why you even should fall for a wrong type in the first place), she will certainly fall for you if you are a good man and you are coming to make her yours and not judging her.

Treat people well, especially her friends, behave well with your boss or instructors, have good manners and steps at everything and, most importantly, do not make these count or matter when you are with her. Just let her know that you love and like her and would just wanna be with her. She will tune herself to look more like you.

NB: Remember, God is the author and controller of everything, including our relationships, talk to Him about the woman you have fallen for and He will guide her heart into choosing you too.

Yes, I believe you can.

God bless you

The Complete You Ministry,


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Born from Uganda, Nemeyimana Vicent (Nemvicx) has become what people call, "coming from nothing to something". Professionally, he is both a nurse and public health officer and currently works with Mulago National Referral Hospital. In 2016, he wedded his wife and great sweetheart, Amulen Winfred (also a professional Midwife and counsellor). Besides their professions, Nemvicx is an inspirational writer, singer, motivational speaker, author of several digital books. He a theologian and blogger at (The Complete You Ministry).

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